J'accuse of The Traveling Toddler Parent

So I've mentioned it here in passing a couple times - we is going to Vietnam this spring. I have wanted to go to Vietnam for ages. Just one of these places I always wanted to see. I want to buy a book and read up about the history. I want to do a cooking class. Most of all, however, I want to remember maybe a third of what we will see in the first week with our jet-lagged toddler.

Because let's be frank here. We've not traveled out of our time zone with our kid for well over a year. The first and only trip we took was blissfully ignorant, back to the US with everyone else on earth around Xmas (have I mentioned how much I love traveling around peak holidays? Note sarcasm). She was 4 months old, we had no idea, and it was totally fine. Actually on the way West it was pretty okay. This is also our experience as adults, going west and adjusting is easier. The way home was a b*tch. Took the Munchkin (then Piranha) a week to get back to our time zone. So I'm anticipating similar troubles on the way to Vietnam.

So why not just hold off? Let me educate the non-child wrangling folk on the debate that rages in parenting circles of young children. Even in my little birth class of three other couples we have people representing the whole spectrum. First of all let me acknowledge that people without children would like to see no children ever travel until they are preferably 28 and have a steady job. I hear you and I was part of that crowd for a long time. Let me also say that I'm enjoying being on the other side now. I don't mind the angry looks, I feel like it is karma for all the flights I spent glaring at people with obnoxious kids, back when I didn't really understand all the subtle nuances of parenting (aka, you can't do bleepity bleep sometimes when you kid looses it).

In the parenting circle there are many who share that feeling. In general these are the people who like to go on holiday to relax. They go to resorts, they get massages, if they are from Northern Europe they are almost certainly going somewhere sunny and warm.

Arguments against taking any serious holidays with small children include:

• it is not relaxing for parents (these people also never go out to dinner with their kids I think so don't blame them for the ill behaved rug rats next time you're out)
• the kids won't remember anything anyways
• it's very expensive considering they won't remember anything

Fair enough to all these arguments. Obviously OH and I don't feel that way. First of all my whole family loves travel. Most of my friends know I am a bit of a miser but I have something of a budgetary cataract when it comes to traveling. I can and have blown thousands just because the opportunities have presented themselves. Getting married to someone who does mind is probably one of the best retirement savings moves I could have made. OH also loves to travel, don't get me wrong.

Anyways this to give you context, we are not the type who do nothing on holiday. I think I tried it once and I nearly went nuts. We're not adventure people, I don't need to eat snake poop or skydive with a lama to feel alive. I just want to see and try stuff from other cultures. I want my children to love travel or at least be able to tolerate it.

Arguments for taking serious holidays with small children (note my clear bias here):

• it is not relaxing, but nothing is as a parent. I knew that signing up. 
• I don't think kids remember specifics but guess what, I went back to Spain a decade after I'd been there and I didn't remember a thing either. Still glad I went the first time! You absorb things your conscious mind will never recall and these are sometimes even more valuable.
• it is going to be so very much more expensive to do this when the kids are older. Then you will have to book a flight for them, extra rooms when they are older, and you will be stuck to the dreaded school schedule, when every travel related anything is jacked up in price.

I want to keep traveling and enjoy all the different experiences we have, with a small child, when she is older, and beyond. To an extent as expats we don't really have a choice if we want to see family. We have already done quite a bit of hopping around and South Africa was the perfect test-flight for a taste of the nightmare that is Long Haul Flight with Toddler. So we're ready to do it. I will drown my sorrows in pho on the other side. And to the people who will be on that 13,5 hour flight to Singapore with us - I promise you we will do everything in our power, including ipad, sugary snacks, and melatonin, to placate our child.