Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Busy Times Upon Us

This is my crazy week before everyone goes on holiday and most of Europe shuts down for the end of year holiday period. I am grateful, because being pregnant the second round means I have so little energy, I am really looking forward to a pause. But there is a lot to try to cram into this week and on top of the busy during the day I also have a lot of plans in the evenings. Man this baby-making business wipes me out! I imagine the daylight ending at five pm daily isn't helping either.

I'm especially looking forward to some down time to build up my reserves for the new year. I am quite anxious about the task ahead, as I will try to cram in as much work and business generation as I can before kiddo #2 arrives and takes me out of the labor force (hahah, pun totally intended) for a few months. Being new to sales I have not experienced for myself but have heard from other mama who confirm that you basically lose all your momentum and pipeline being out for some long. You just have to get back in and start all over again. Sigh! I could say I will work on my maternity leave, but that would be untrue. I know from the last time that I will be totally brainwashed with post pregnancy mama hormones. It seems unlikely given how crazy-obsessed with baby the last time that I'll be able to balance that with work given that I'm in a situation that's asking me not to worry about work.

The worst part about all of this is that I've been worrying about it fruitlessly for months already. Ever since we found out we were expecting, which was right about the time I switched roles. I knew this was coming. The timing infuriated and worried me immediately. It is one trait about myself I would like to change, is this tenacious ability I have to worry uselessly about stuff that may or may not happen at some distant point in the future. Usually I've exhausted my worry by the time the events roll around anyways and everything turns out fine. But no tactics so far have succeeded in shutting down that little worry fountain in the back of my head. There is nothing I can do about my present circumstances. It is also not like I am the first female sales person ever in the history of human kind to go on maternity leave, and all those now- mamas are just fine and back at work. I know it is not the end of the world and that I will just do what has to be done to make my goals. I also know that your life changes again radically after kiddo #2 and that I can't really anticipate or prepare for that until it happens. 

All I can do is try to focus on the tasks at hand, and keep working on keeping the useless worry in check. When I worry I need to remind myself that I've made choices that put me in this situation. I am not totally helpless and I didn't walk into it completely blindly. I still love the new role, and I don't regret the way it is challenging me in a lot of (sometimes exhausing) ways. You can't wait for the perfect timing to take chances - you just have to take those opportunities as they come. 

3 comments:

Dad said...

Well you pretty much covered the whole gamut of feelings and responses in that post. As you said, we all adjust to what life gives us.

Lauren said...

I remember being completely terrified before Rose was born, can I do this, have I forgotten everything, how will I balance a second little human, etc. etc. And it was all fine. I still don't know how to balance all of these little humans, but for the most part you are just pooped so you roll with it! You'll do great.

alexis said...

Lauren I worry about that a little but I have to say one of the benefits of worrying about work is that it has taken my mind completely off that worry!